K
Kamikaze. n. (Japanese word meaning, providential storm). Example: “After the morning mist has lifted, the kamikazes will warm up the coastline.”By extension, during the Second World War, the work kamikaze was used to designate the Japanese suicide pilots who crashed into American aircraft carriers in order to test Archimedes’ principle in the port of Hawaii.
In times of peace, the kamikaze languishes. Having no aircraft carriers to crash into, he feels bereft of all purpose. The desire to die takes hold of him then and, believe me, for someone whose sole reason for living is to die, the idea of death is unliveable. I’m not sure whether this is clear, but I really couldn’t care less.
[…] The female of the kamikaze is the kamikazette. More slender than the male of the species, you need only push her off a stool for her to dive onto the carpet whilst imitating a hang glider and screaming the same insanities – albeit one octave higher.
To reproduce, the kamikaze – following a rather fastidious love dance that verily drips of all things Far East – places the kamikazette in the centre of the nuptial bed. He then climbs atop a Henrito II armoire and throws himself off, yelling, ‘Bito, Bito,’ which literally means, “ti amo.” When the bed breaks, they say that it will be a long, hard winter ahead.
Pierre Desproges – Superfluous dictionary, for use by the elite and well-endowed
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