Pompignan Times Gazette
Sunday, 16 February, 2003
Saint Juliana’s Day.
St. Juliana was a martyr who lived in Nicomedia in the 4th century. A devout Christian even though her parents were pagans. She refused to marry the Senator Eleusius who was also a pagan. She suffered really nasty tortures, whipped, beaten, poked with hot irons, hung by her hair and stuff and, when she didn’t waver, she was beheaded.
Have a good one!
Weather: Well, she’s chilly in the morning, but not so cold as she was in ’52, and the other day there, you know, if we’d had some sun it would’ve been warmer than it was the other day there when it was pretty cold. And how about that wind, eh? Blow the cocky off a rooster! But like the old saying goes, if your cat’s warming his coat in the sunshine in February, she’ll be warming it by the fire in March. So there you go.
International news: Three Belgians and one car from Andorra drove through our fair town on their way to Montpellier. And someone else, but he was going so fast we couldn’t see his licence plate so good. We’re thinking maybe Netherlander, but maybe not. Marie-Claude saw it too, but she’s gone to see her mother in Anduze where they had cake that was dry, but not so dry as it was in ’92. And there isn’t so much wind she says.
Sports: At 11:06 this last Saturday morning, Jean-Luc broke his 5-metre dash record, making it from his stool to the toilet in 3.8 seconds after a not record 15 beers. But there’s a debate over whether slipping on the tiles because he missed knocking himself unconscious nullifies this sensational performance that’s totally a record, so it would be too bad.
Financial News: Marie-Paule reports from the bakery that a lot of people still can’t figure out this euro thing and want pear tarts on Wednesdays too not just Sunday.
School News: There’s been a whole lot of controversy because the children have been ordered to memorize Humpty Dumpty.
Many are wondering why the king allegedly went to so much trouble to put a “giant egg” back together again, and Isabelle L. has lodged a formal complaint via her 7-year old daughter, Isaure, that the English teacher’s translation of the poem was not word for word, and dismissed the teacher’s explanation that she purposely provided a rhythmic rendering, and gave a word-for-word translation orally – an explanation that Isaure did not hear because she was busy picking her nose and a fight with her neighbour at the time.
The girl’s mother has vowed to continue not speaking to the English teacher except through her daughter on a regular basis. We here at the Times Gazette think it’s maybe a metaphor.
In other news:
- Claudette P. hung only 6 pairs of underpants on the line last Thursday, instead of the usual 7.
- Mr. and Mrs. Souche are renovating their kitchen. They say it will be blue, but many think that green would be better, to match the living room rug.
- Frédéric will be selling pot in the usual spot behind the school before tonight’s Bingo game.
- A follow-up on our story from last week: Arlette’s bunion has not improved, and this week she had some pain in her left elbow.
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