Have it our way
In these times of archaic divisiveness, oddly selective outpourings of compassion, a childish refusal to embrace nuanced viewpoints, legal doublespeak that eases sleazy culprits out of a jam, cynical apathy, second raters’ revenge made policy, made blockbuster, made megalomaniac community darling, history rewritten, celebrity-hungry no-talent losers trading ass for a press pass, voting indifference to strife and genocide when intervention brings no strategic gain, pandering and punditry, shopping as a form of self love, fortune as a measure of worth, callow moral outrage more disingenuous than a hooker’s display of pleasure, lingo instead of language, armchair snipers, empathy = dangerously naïve, the Pope’s equating free choice with death camps – one foot in the grave and the other in his mouth, a certain dog who keeps stealing apples and walnuts out of the fruit bowl (you know who you are) and, most maddening, of watching noble philosophies reduced to hollow slogans, those few tentative hard-won ideals that make putting up with so much crap worthwhile made power-hungry cynics’ easy political currency…
I’d say it’s time we strike back with some slogans of our own.
I’ve been out of the advertising racket for too long (thank goodness), so I’m counting on you to pick up the slack.
All the fits that print as news.
Halliburton: we liked it so much we bought the country.
Put a Tigris in your tank.
EU: drivers wanted.
Betcha can’t bomb just one.
Bush as God’s proxy? One of them is having us on.
Reproducing press releases verbatim since 2001.
We put good things to rest.
Keep Jacques out of jail: vote Chirac in 2007.
Jacko: No child’s behind left…
Please don’t squeeze Mark Harmon.
(God, where did that come from?)
It’s the humanity, stupid.
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Comment
- Give it to Karl, he’ll do anything.
Kim Jong II: Sometimes you feel like a nut…
— mel Mar 2, 9:40pm # - There Is No Alternative…to corrupt government.
(Does that make sense? I’ve been out of the adveritising industry too long, as well.)
— Amelia Mar 3, 2:23am # - Theocracy: It’s not Just for Bedouins Anymore
Depleted Uranium: A Little Dab’ll Do Ya
Oh, I wish I were a Neo-Conservative wiener; that is what I’d truly like to be. Cause if I were a Neo-Conservative wiener, Everyone would be in love with me.
How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a Saddam’s WMD Program?
— Andy Mar 3, 8:21am # - Georgie’s Got Crack, But We Don’t Care.
The Democratic Party: Putting The Ass in “Spineless Asshole”.
The Republocrats: Because Sometimes Two Heads Don’t Actually Make Any Difference At All.
— Ben Mar 3, 2:50pm # - got nuke?
— JD Mar 3, 4:37pm # - Grossly overpaid CEOs and their children: We make our money the old-fashioned way: we INHERIT it. (“We get awarded no-bid government contracts” was just too long.)
The Catholic Church on not ordaining women: Clerical collars. For a man to wear and a woman to – nah, we’ll think about that tomorrow.
Note that these may not be funny if you don’t remember Smith Barney Investments or Van Heusen shirts.
Finally, i can’t find the link to this one anymore, but i did like the ad opposing Alberto Gonzalez as the next US Attorney General: You may not know Alberto Gonzalez. But we’re sure you’ll recognize his work next to a picture of a hooded, otherwise naked prisoner at Abu Ghraib.
— Amy H. Mar 10, 7:50pm #
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