Miscellany from the belfry

¶ 11 June 06

This week’s favourite joke, courtesy of Dean:

A man walks into his kitchen with a duck under his arm. He sees his wife standing there and says,
Man: Yeah, so this is the pig I’ve been fucking.
Wife: That’s not a pig, it’s a duck.
Man: I wasn’t talking to you.

One cartoon requiring a caption:

Man sitting in an armchair reading [Hugo’s new nemesis, dog trainer] Cesar Millan’s book while two insane rottweilers savage the room around him.

And one commercial:

Flagrant copy of the opening scene of Midnight Express.

A man is going through customs, beat of the music like a racing heart: close-up on his darting eyes, beads of sweat seeping out of his forehead, his half-open mouth panting – the sound drowning out the custom officer’s questions.

He makes it through, heart still pounding as he moves across the dusty airstrip to the plane. He’s almost there, right foot rising onto the steps when he hears it: Halt! and the chukchuk of chambers lock and loading. The other passengers fall to the ground; he freezes, spreads his legs, arms reach high and wide.

A customs officer approaches slowly, gun-ready… Boomboom boomboom… He stops a foot away from the man, gun in the right hand trained on the man’s head, then reaches out with his left hand and tears off the man’s shirt.

Strapped to the man’s body are hundreds of 3 Musketeers chocolate bars. Boomboom boomboom…

Insert irresponsible tag line:

 

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Comment

  1. Only the chocolate you don’t eat can hurt you.
    matthew    Jun 12, 12:05am    #
  2. Caption for the cartoon: Excuse me, could someone get these damn dogs out of here. I am trying to read.
    julie    Jun 13, 9:37am    #
  3. caption: That ought to keep him busy. Let’s go find that steak.
    tagline: he fit the profile.
    Tek    Jun 13, 3:16pm    #
  4. Tagline: All for one or one for all?
    GMR    Jun 15, 8:42pm    #
  5. openshat
    mohamed    Jul 7, 9:23pm    #

commenting closed for this article